Monday, November 21, 2005
i do not pretend to understand this day or the next. each moment presents another half-baked plan conceived of impatience and hurt pride. so much more than we need, we have. it seems, though, that the life we now know, hangs on the cusp of dissolution. something in me wants to cling to every last innocent moment. not good or bad, not disaster, just change. and change is never easy.
the fiber of my childhood home has worn to threadbare rags. and though i am an adult and i left long ago, the loss is undeniably present.
b's job, too seems to hang by a thin filament, the weight of his frustration blown by the hot, heavy air of someone's blind self-importance.
there are times to feel so invincible and capable, and a time to realize that the the kaleidoscope of a thousand variables keeps spinning.